Miami HEAT's playoff run

NBA teams eliminated from playoffs – NBA Bubble Eulogies

NBA teams eliminated from the playoffs left the NBA bubble in Orlando, Florida, after their final games.

To commemorate their seasons, the Shoot or Pass podcast crew serve as the NBA team Departure Coordinators and send these eliminated teams on their way with heartfelt NBA Bubble Eulogies.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

Despite coming into the restart as the 8th seed, they failed to retain their place in the standings throughout seeding games. However, they didn’t fall too far, making it to the play-in tournament as the 9th seed. Unfortunately, they lost to the Portland Trail Blazers 126-122 and have departed the bubble. They are one of the six NBA teams eliminated from playoff contention.

Dear Grizzlies, you came and played with pride and no fear,

While you didn’t have a chance in hell to advance,

You at least produced the likely Rookie of the Year.

Whether in Vancouver or Memphis, mediocre will always be your thing,

From drafting and developing both Gasol Brothers,

Both would go on to other teams to win that elusive ring.

The franchise appears to be in good hands,

With guys like Morant, Jackson Jr and even some dude named Brooks, 

But losing to the defenseless Blazers will never get you to the big dance.

Ja, the next time you and Brooks decide to chide Iggy for leaving the team,

Just know he left for bigger and better opportunities,

To celebrate with the HEAT and their championship bling.


PHOENIX SUNS

NO ONE saw it coming! As seeding games came to an end, the Phoenix Suns found themselves in the mix after going 8-0. Unfortunately, they didn’t get the help they needed from other teams to make it into the play-in tournament and could not extend their stay at the Yacht Club.

This is a ceremony of remembrance,

Devin Booker burst into the bubble and went on a scoring bender,

While he won’t be extending his stay at the Yacht Club for a playoff run,

He’ll get all kinds of other rewards in the arms of Kendall Jenner.

The Sun-derella story may be over,

No time to dwell, they must reassert

For the return of DeAndre Ayton and the emergence of Cam Johnson,

Is sure to put a stacked Western Conference on high alert!

Watching Caris LeVert miss that step-back jumper,

Felt like a stab to the heart with a knife,

But as the great Captain from Star Trek once said,

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”


SAN ANTONIO SPURS

For a team that is rebuilding, the Spurs were extremely competitive throughout seeding games. In the end, their competitiveness was not enough to keep a 22-year playoff streak going. The Spurs got confirmation of their elimination at the beginning of their match up against the Utah Jazz this past Thursday.

We can all agree that 2020 has been quite the year,

The San Antonio Spurs will not make it to the next round,

For it took a global pandemic,

To shut a 22-year play off streak down.

While some have seen it coming,

Others cry bullshit at the team playing less games,

But even with a good performance for a team on a rebuild,

More than one question remains.

Will DeMar leave this off season?

Tank for some lottery picks, the new approach?

Will Gregg Popovich ride off into the sunset,

And gift us with the NBA’s first female Head Coach?


NEW ORLEANS PELICANS

A disappointing showing throughout seeding games relinquished any chances of seeing Zion make his NBA Playoff debut. Consequently, the Pelicans have now parted ways with head coach, Alvin Gentry. Will a team with a talented roster on paper rebound with a new head coach?

We bid the New Orleans Pelicans farewell,

Gifted the easiest of schedules yet they couldn’t survive,

We have yet to understand Zion’s minutes restrictions,

Boy was it hard to watch this team play live.

When games were close they couldn’t score,

Turned the ball over 2nd highest rate in the NBA,

But their rim protection was worst of all,

With opponents strutting to the basket like Beyonce.

Alvin Gentry was the first head to roll,

But, does this team need an entire overhaul?

Take the load off BI – get Zion a chef and a trainer,

Name the new head coach – LaVar Ball?


WASHINGTON WIZARDS

One of the first NBA teams eliminated and sent home were the Washington Wizards. They were invited to the bubble despite not having a chance to make the NBA Playoffs. To summarize their play in the bubble, they were passed by the Charlotte Hornets in the standings at one point. Hopefully, the return of Bradley Beal and John Wall helps them re-emerge in the East next season.

We’re gathered here to send off the dreaded Wash Wizards

Invited to the bubble with no playoff chances or appeal,

Imagine what Adam Silver’s face looked like,

When news got out they’d be playing without their star Bradley Beal.

They scored one victory throughout their time here,

But it wasn’t against a Zion-less Pelicans team.

They were so bad I flipped the channel

To watch Elena Della Donne and the Washington Mystics take on the Atlanta Dream.

The Hornets passed them in the standings,

Somewhere in Charlotte a legend is drowning in high self-esteem,

Goodbye, Adios, Au Revoir Washington Wizards,

Enjoy an off-season as the new face of the crying Jordan meme.


SACRAMENTO KINGS

The Sacramento Kings only had one victory in the bubble, against a New Orleans Pelicans team playing without Zion Williamson. For this (and a few other reasons), Vlade Divac is out as their General Manager. We have yet to see how free agency is affected by the lock down. Hopefully, this works in the new GM’s favor.

Today, we mourn the departure of the SAC Kings,

Relieve their fans of all their troubles,

They began their journey an abysmal 0-3,

Giving up an average of 122 pts per game in the bubble.

No more suffering, no more agony,

No watching them play in dismay,

Enough with wondering how destiny could have been different,

Had they not passed up on Luka or Trae.

It’s a long journey back home,

To the Golden 1 Center – 2800 miles,

But maybe the lock down crushes the free agency market so much,

That they get to re-sign Harry Giles

For more NBA content, listen to the Shoot or Pass podcast. New episodes drop every Monday!

More NBA Bubble Eulogies will be created as NBA teams continue to get eliminated through out the playoffs – so TUNE IN!

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