UPDATE: The Curse lives on! Clippers were eliminated from the playoffs after going up 3-1 to the Denver Nuggets.
So, we are sending them home the best way we know how – with some NBA Bubble Eulogies.
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
Imagine spending the last couple of seasons building your roster with the purpose of getting past the Lakers…and not even making it past the second round of the playoffs for a chance to face them? If you look up the word “implosion” in the dictionary, you will find the Clippers collapsing in their series against the Nuggets after going up 3-1. The team’s superstars, Kawhi Leonard and Paul George, were nowhere to be found in the second quarter. They combined for a measly five points on 2-18 shooting with 4 turnovers in the second half of Game 7. Guess how many of those points came in the 4th quarter? Z E R O. Therefore, the Clippers are eliminated from the playoffs and head home.
The curse of the Los Angeles Clippers lives on for another season,
Somewhere Steven Ballmer is sobbing like a damsel in distress,
For he got two superstars and what appeared to be a good team around them,
Only to realize he just got catfished, hoodwinked, and finessed.
How do we sum up the implosion of a contender in one visual?
With Playoff P/Pandemic P/Way-Off P’s backboard shot in the 4th from beyond the arc,
Bet you Kawhi would have stayed put in Toronto,
Had he foreseen the disaster of a playoff run he was about to embark.
Trez struggled, Lou Will played like his life’s motto is “Wings Before Rings”,
The team’s apparent chemistry issues were on display for all of us to see,
Hey Patrick Beverley, you just won yourself a free vacation,Please send your RSVP to Damian Lillard and check the box that reads – CANCUN ON 3
James Harden and Russell Westbrook will go another year without a championship ring. What’s new? After getting past the Oklahoma City Thunder, the Houston Rockets would have to get past the top-seed Lakers for a chance to make it to the Finals. They drew first blood in Game 1, leaving us all thinking that perhaps Moreyball is truly revolutionary. However, you can never count out a Lebron-led team. The Lakers are getting hot at the right time, winning the next 4 games convincingly. Consequently, it appears that the Rockets will go into the off season with more questions than answers.
Houston, we have a problem,
The Rockets fell apart in the NBA playoffs once more,
Russ is getting paid to yap more than he can shoot,
James Harden keeps pulling a Houdini and disappearing off both ends of the floor.
It’s funny how he mentions that they need more pieces around them,
When just last season he said they would figure it out that summer,
P.J. Tucker is only getting older, Eric Gordon only getting worse,
Maybe those pieces were Chris Paul and Clint Capela – gee, what a bummer.
Is it time to admit that Moreyball is a failure?
Here comes another off-season full of suspense,
At least this season they have the ultimate fall man,
In Danuel House who chose “coochie” over common sense.
We will not be seeing the defending champs contending for a repeat any longer. Perhaps, winning it all without a super star is only wishful thinking, jury is still out on that one. One thing is for certain, Pascal Siakam did not display himself as a good first option for the Canadians. He struggled mightily throughout his appearance in the bubble. To add, the Celtics defense, led by Marcus Smart proved to be too much for them to handle. Coach of the year Nick Nurse and his team will have to go back to the drawing board, heading home. Similarly, the Clippers have also been eliminated from the playoffs, so there’s that.
Farewell to the defending champs the Toronto Raptors,
Who deserve a lot of credit for at least making it this far,
After Kawhi bolted to LA and they suffered injuries to most of their rotation,
The Raptors were still contending for a repeat despite not having a superstar.
They took care of a red-hot Brooklyn Nets team,
But had their hands full with the Boston Celtics at first glance,
When Lowry launched it over Tacko to OG for a game-winning three,
Everyone on both sides of the border was like – COULD THERE REALLY BE A CHANCE?
Losing their true first option would come back to haunt them,
Pascal Siakam said he didn’t touch a ball for 4 months and boy did it show,
Also to blame was the terrible shooting and non-existent perimeter defense,
Somewhere in the Six, Drake is crying into the butt cheeks of another Instagram hoe.
The Milwaukee Bucks went into the lock down as the team with the best record in the NBA, playing with a defensive unit that was bound to make the history book, and a superstar in Giannis who swept the NBA awards. However, let’s give credit where credit is due. There was a rally led by Khris Middleton and Donte DiVincenzo to avoid the sweep from the Miami HEAT. They stood valiantly for social justice, creating a domino effect across the sports world that shook us all to our very core yet again in the year 2020. While those efforts will never go in vain, their efforts on the court will. Sadly, as they are also departing the NBA bubble.
It was a tale of two seasons for the Milwaukee Bucks,
Best record in the league, historic defense – a path to the Finals so clear,
But, something about 4 months off and being confined to a resort in Disney World,
Made all of their good qualities mysteriously disappear.
Losing Game 1 to the Orlando Magic set all the alarms off,
Trailing 0-3 to the HEAT seemed to truly mark their downfall,
Bud was being stubborn again; Bledsoe was shooting so many damn bricks,
If Trump still watched the NBA he’d try to contract that guy to build him a wall.
Khris Middleton and Donte DiVincenzo tried to give them a chance in their final game,
Gonna be awkward presenting Giannis with the second of his back-to-back MVP titles,
Props to them for sitting out a game in the name of social justice,
And THANKS TO THEM for making the HEAT the first team to advance to the Conference Finals!